The most realistic thing about San Andreas is that The Rock (excuse me, Dwayne Johnson) and Carla Gugino would have a daughter as beautiful as Alexandra Daddario. The earthquake stuff? I don’t know whether or not it’s accurate, but I’m guessing probably not.
San Andreas is a fine entry into the pantheon of “let’s destroy cities!” summer blockbusters, but it’s nothing much more than that. It’s perfectly enjoyable in the moment, but wholly forgettable once you leave the theater.
It’s also proof that — apparently! — a couple on the outs can rekindle their passions by taking a helicopter ride over an obliterated California landscape to rescue their only child.
There’s nothing really surprising about San Andreas. You know who your heroes are (The Rock!); you know who the villains are (nature! and that awful new boyfriend of Carla Gugino!). You know, heading into a movie like this, that none of the stars are going to die. They can’t die, not in this type of movie.
If you’re looking for two hours of destruction and moderate excitement, San Andreas is your movie. If you’re looking for anything more than that, you’ll have to look elsewhere. As beautiful as everyone is in this movie, it’s not worth your time.